Fat Loss Advice For Oprah Winfrey & All Yo-Yo Dieters

Well Tom, I hope Oprah does contact you. I think it would be great since what she is doing doesn't seem to be sticking long-term. Perhaps a change would do her good - as it does all of us.

I CAN'T wait for your book to come out in Jan. I seriously think you wrote it just for me. When I read the special report that discusses who you wrote the book for - that's me. I have had BFFM for quite a number of years, but kept thinking that I wasn't that person. I'm not a bodybuilder and don't want to be. I don't love to exercise, but know I need to for my health. I want to be a healthy 30ish woman - I don't want to be skinny fat - I want to have muscle and be fit.

So, although I hate to admit it, I would consider myself a BFFM drop out (although a lot of the healthy eating has stuck) but KNOW that I will be a Body Fat Solution SUCCESS. I really CAN'T wait until Jan. 8th - I will be in line at the bookstore when it opens that day!

Take care Tom!
Suzanne

"you hit the nail on the head with that one! I've always thought of Oprah has very hypocritical on that issue. Lose weight people, but pay no attention to me =)"

Hi there - we have to remember that she has a low thyroid which has been going on for years and most likely not on a high enough dose of thyroid medication and also probably using synthetic version instead of natural version - huge difference. If thyroid is balanced and strong and healthy, it's very hard to gain to weight.

Thanks

Hi Tom,

I'm sure I won't be the only one to say this but, you could have been talking about me in that post. I am just the same, I moan about the clothes not fitting but I just don't do anything about it!

I do have BFFM which is amazing and I have even offered advice to others about eating better quality food more often and movng more but STILL fail to do it myself.

Thank you for this post, it has been a slap in the face but as you say "that's real love".

Thank you Tom,

Regards

Gillian

Oprah is already giving herself enough of a hard time when she fails to meet her goals. She doesn't need other people doing this as well.

What she needs is to work out what need she is meeting when she gains weight or fails to meet her targets. This is called taking responsibility. It's not about being accountable to others. When she takes responsibility for the fact that she is prioritising other needs over her desire to lose weight, then she can make a decision about what she really wants to do.

Zhana wrote

"Oprah is already giving herself enough of a hard time when she fails to meet her goals. She doesn't need other people doing this as well. What she needs is to work out what need she is meeting when she gains weight or fails to meet her targets. This is called taking responsibility.
It's not about being accountable to others.She doesn't need other people doing this as well.

I agree with you completely Zhana- it IS about responsibility. Taking responsibility comes first and it goes hand in hand with accountability to self. I've always said that.

But when change IS DESIRED and change doesnt stick, try accountability to others and see what happens -- REAL, TRUE accountability -- and public accountability works incredibly well in this age of the internet, social networking and web 2.0

That is NOT "being given a hard time". It's not destructive criticism... its support. Its love. Tough love. People are too easy on themsvles, letting themsevles off the hook -- and friends and family and loved ones are too easy on the ones they love.

nothing has ever been more valuable to me than the people in my life who pushed me out of my comfort zone.

a friendly, loving push in the right direction canwork wonders to get us started as it can to get us back on the right track when we veer off.

We need support from others and part of that support is accountability.

it amazes me that someone like Oprah, with all the access she has to personal trainers, dietitians, personal chefs, weightloss experts and the like, especially since money is NO object in her case, that she STILL can't get a grip on her weight....in a way, it makes her just as real as the rest of us, who struggle with no time to work out, no money for trainers or even with problems in affording the right foods for a healthy diet....so if WE can do it without the access she has to fitness and nutritional resources, surely SHE can, too!

I suggest that OPRAH give up those swanky expensive restaurants and eat all of her meals at a homeless shelter! I haven't seen very many overweight people living on the streets.

I am so sad for Oprah. I truly believe there are a 'huge" amount of people out there that are going through the same. Sadly, me included. I have literally followed Oprah's footsteps, even the marathon! A little older, but a lifelong struggle. I have always been athletic and love to exercise. I love good healthy food and junk food. I am very well read on every nutrition and exercise fact, but still cannot maintain weight loss. I go back to old habits very soon after. I have done the accountability thing, but to no avail. I am so convinced it is a disease/addiction. Much like alchoholism and drug addiction. Many people laugh at that, but until you experience it, you will never understand. How can we do it to ourselves? We don't even know!! It is very powerful.

I am not totally convinced accountability will work, but it is worth a try.

I really cannot wait to read your new book. It will be right next to my many others on diet, nutrition and exercise, but I have a feeling it will be good or if not better than your others. Hope this one works for me, Oprah and many, many others.

Keep your website going. It truly is a help and inspiration to never give up! I keep on trying!

I remember in 1988 when she lost all that weight (67 lbs!) on a liquid protein diet. And I remember thinking, "Idiot. You'll never keep it off! And thanks for promoting something totally unrealistic for the average woman." After all, who can live on a liquid diet for the rest of their life?? Of course, I could appear smug because I was thin. (Now I know I was just a skinny fat person!) Then after Hurricane Katrina I gained 40 pounds and couldn't get it off no matter how much cardio I did or low fat I ate. Then I found your BFFM book and it explained everything I needed to know! I now do cardio 5 times a week, work out with a personal trainer 3 times a week who also put me on a nutrition program that is explained in your book...lean protein, good carbs, low fat. I have since dropped the 40 pounds, but more importantly not only do I have GREAT muscle definition, but my body fat went from 28% to 16%! I am a 48-year-old female, but look better than most 20 and 30-year olds! Your book gave me the info and motivation I needed to change my life! And here's the funny (great!) part: even though I used to HATE to exercise, now I feel sluggish if I don't work out. And the nutrition plan is so realistic that I can easily follow it for the rest of my life. In fact, now just looking at a fast food burger makes me ill, LOL!

The only person who can get the weight off and keep it off is yourself. I tried every diet under the sun, but reading BFFM inspired me, and with the help of my friends and family I made it this time. Keeping blogs and diaries of my healthy lifestyle for others to see ensured that I continued to make the effort.

It is hard to keep that weight off and continue the healthy living. Friends soon forget that you were fat in the first place and start to offer you treats and meals out. You need to be in that mental place where you say no to the forbidden fruits and carry on eating according to plan.

This time I believe I can do it, and that is why the weight is staying off and I am still going to the gym. I believe your new book will reach the audience who most need it - the average person who does not bodybuild but who needs the help to lose the weight that you can give them. It is more than just a diet, it gives a belief in yourself that you can actually do it this time, and keep it off.

What a ridiculous attitude to take. Oprah needs someone "above her", eh? To me, Tom, you just showed your hand- you, like so many other fitness professionals, deep down truly seem to believe they are better than the out of shape, or overweight people they train.

laura. Thank you for your opinion. But that is not what I said at all. In fact, I said the reverse -- I sugested that her trainers and advisors may not have provided true accountability. I said that you have to become accountable to YOURSELF first, and then, that oprah could leverage the support of her huge fan base by recruiting support from them through public accountability.

best regards,

tom

Oprah is a wonderful person. She has helped many with weight and health issues. How long does the public expect her to look slim and sleek. She is my age, and when you get into your mid 50's your metabolism slows and it takes twice as much motivation as ever to get going again. I worked out for the majority of my life, and the last two years I dont want to do it anymore. I like walking and hiking and biking, but to get to a gym and work my abs, chest and arms, seems like a great effort. I have developed arthritis (which is hereditary) but I still keep flexible. All glamorous stars should be given a break once they get into their 50's and left alone. If they eat sensible and have a simple exercise regimen but gain a few poungs...LET THEM BE

Great article. I have to tell you that I did this very thing. On September 23, I set up a blog, with pictures and starting weight. I sent the link to all of my friends and told them about my desire to get healthy and fit. The blog is there for the world to see (although my world is much smaller than Oprah's). Anyway, I have been weighing in weekly and posting my results. I found that was one way to put it out there, no excuses because others are watching. I have had amazing results. I have been reading your articles on burning the fat and how to build muscle. I am so excited about how I am feeling and how I am looking. In 11 weeks I have lost 24 pounds. I am eating only nutritious foods and am working out daily. Thanks for all of the good info. You may prove my story at:

ajanejourney.blogspot.com

I'm working hard and seeing reults,
Jane

Once again Tom, you prove your point, and it is as great and intensive as a workout. The movie you mention, "Inspired," looks great. I checked out the trailer, and I almost cried. You are my idol and my motivation Tom. I look forward to seeing the movie. Laso, I wish Oprah checks the movie out too. She could be suffering more than what other people think of. I only hope success for all and for all to have goodness within them and commitment and control over themselves.

Joe

Oprah IS a wonderful person with many wonderful messages she shares, but Joe, nothing was said in my blog post about the public's expectation of her. Im sure her fans love her just the way she is. Im talking about her fans (and her trainers, dieticians, advisors, etc), all helping to hold her to her OWN expectations.

This is about oprahs expectations for herself and how she can better realize them. The point is she has expressed dissatisfaction with her weight. If she is healthy and if she is happy with her weight, then yes, leave her alone. If she wants change and is having trouble making change stick, then here is ONE solution - clearly not the only one - but one viable, powerful, effective solution. Accountability. Publicly.

The accountability movement online has already begun. Like all positive movements, it is going to spread and it is there for anyone - celebrities - bodybuilders - housewives and ordinary Joes alike - to tap into if they want more motivational leverage

As for age. Thats a total cop out. Just an excuse. I co-authored a book with Jon Benson called fit over 40 which highlghted men and women from age 40-80 who NOT ONLY built incredible healthy, lean physiques, they overcame srtuggles that most people would say are far worse than arthritis and thyroid probelms in doing so... Things like paralysis and wheelchairs and openheart surgery and multiple sclerosis and even skid-row alcoholism and drug addiction.

No you cant expect to start at age 50 or 60 and do it with the same ease as you did at age 20 or 30.

Bue YES, You can becoem lean and STAY lean at any age. dont confuse difficult with impossible. If you play the "im too old" or "shes too old" card, then after I show you dozens of people the same age with the same or worse challenges who achieved their fitness goals anyway, then what excuse is left?

Tom; I couldn't disagree with you more! You provide another escape and excuse to our Dear Oprah. She needs true accountability and only she can implement that by holding the person in the mirror responsible. I am not responsible to Oprah as a audience member or admirer , I am responsible for myself and if she needs help we'll help her BUT not by letting her off the hook! We are each having a large enough task of taking responsibility for ourselves; it's time to tell Oprah that she's not all that and a bag of chips! We should love her enough to let her be a real grownup and not a pampered Star!
Cordially Yours, Bill Nicholson

Bill, I agree about self-responsibility and accountability to self. But I believe external accountability is paramount when compliance is a problem.

I have seen the power of social spport and external accountability in action in my personal life, in the lives of my clients, in the lives of the clients of other trainers, group fitness instructors, 12 week fitness challenge leaders, personal coaches, and too many more examples to list.

Ultimately, YOU are responsible for your body and your health -- External accountability is NOT removing the onus of responsibility from yourself -external accountability is ADDING ANOTHER LAYER of accountability BEYOND self. Now with forces working in BOTH directions, you become unstoppable!

Tom, You are on target with your thoughts! I couldn't agree with you more! Many people have that issue as well, they are in a position where no one can keep them accountable because of their position. The best way to keep her accountable is through the public. I think though, a lot of her veiwing audience relate to her weight struggle so well, I don't know that they will hold her accountable.

Another reason why Oprah carries the weight

I was reading your recent blog, and I do agree with your assessment that she may not feel accountable to anyoe, but I also found myself wondering if she feels more accepted as a heavier person.

She is a success in just about everything she sets out to do. Why does she fail at controlling her weight? I would be interested in seeing her ratings in relation to her weight. I would not be surprised if she had better ratings when she was heavier as opposed to being thinner. Her struggle with her weight is the one thing that keeps her human, that allows her audience to connect with her. I would guess that when she is thinner, she might initially see a spike in ratings as people tune in to see the new Oprah, but soon, those that also struggle with their weight may be turned off.

Tom,

A very good article about taking personal responsibility. I think the reason why Oprah failed to maintain her weight is all in goal setting. Once you set a goal and you reached it then you wouldn't worry about anything and go back to the same old habits of eating. I think her target weight was somewhere around 150 and once she reached it she was too happy and then 2 hours after the show where she said she lost 67 pounds, she started eating junk food again.

My take on this is, keep setting new goals and keep challenging yourself and that way you will never loose motivation and never gain fat.

My sincere advice to Oprah is buy Tom's BFFM book if she needs reduce fat

HA! I wish I had an audience to be accountable to. All and I mean all my audiences(family, friends, enemies) are enablers to my food addiction and please don't say" change your friends. It's hard to leave when married 45 years but I quess that's an weak attitude also.

I kept my weight managable for three years and I do exactly what Ophra does, relapse. I don't watch Ophra so I'm not up on her diets but I know exactly what she's going through. There has to be another way for some of us. It's worse than some chemicals, at least you can cold turkey chemicals but you can't cold turkey food.

I've tried to "out exercise a bad diet" and it's pure physical and mental misery to try and keep failing. You lean folks say I'm doing something wrong, I agree, you tell me how to stop the cravings for sugar. Ophra knows what I mean.

Can you believe I have to go shower for a Christmas party that I can't possibly get out of without being a Grinch. I quess it's a choice of being a lean Grinch or a overweigh

Grandpa.
I need a shrink.
BBL
Rod

Being in the public eye could work against you or for you. In Oprah's case, it worked against her. She needs to feel a certain kind of excitement from the audience that could make her want to impress them. Like Kelly Ripa! Kelly really took on her weight loss b/c she was in the public eye. She cares about what her fans think too. Oprah needs to take hold of her own life and become responsible in every way. She is wathced by millions around the world! If she is going to let herself go, she will not have too much credibility in other ways in my eyes. Also, She is not healthy and Dr. Oz is constantly on her show talking about health. She needs to take care of her health if she even wants to keep hosting or living for that matter. Soon she will not be able to live a good quality lifestyle(and I don't mean moniterily) if she keeps that weight on.

hi tom, i log onto your website some time ago. there were 2 statements that you made that has hit me hard.

[1] "YOU WILL ONLY CHANGE WHEN THE PAIN OF REMAINING THE SAME IS GREATER THAN THE PAIN OF CHANGING" AND

[2] "TRAIN HARD, EXPECT SUCCESS"

i believe this to be a motivation fact for Oprah. it worked for me!

terry

I am also a hypothyroid and I am taking Armour because I did not feel well on Synthroid. I feel great now. However I still cannot lose weight. I can sympathize with Oprah's struggles since I was never overweight until my thyroid quit. At that point I gained 40 pounds in one year. I would like to know if we need to eat differently than other people BECAUSE of hypothyroidism. I have struggled with this for 6 years trying everything from low-carb to low-fat to high-fat to high-carb. NOTHING WORKS!!

Hi Tom,

Oprah sure does get a lot of attention whether she wants it or not from all sorts of places and her name is used in all sorts of ways for other peoples personal gains with or without her permission....

I don't know if putting the emotional responsibility for her future failure or success in weight loss management on her public is any way of solving her yoyo issues as this puts the responsibilities of her life in the hands of others for their approval or disapproval of her efforts.

I don't know much about solving yoyo issues either but I at least know that people who diet for others, always gain the weight back on and more within the next year or two after reaching their target goal or sometime after their external motivator is no longer there unless, and only if, somewhere along the line, they start producing changes only for themselves and not to gain the approval of outside motivators.

If I had the weight of the world looking down on if I was getting it together or not in my weight management issues, I wouldn't just feel humiliated if I failed, I would be crushed by the pressure that no human should have to go through. She isn't a lab test and shouldn't be used as such because obesity is a global society issue that everyone should take responsibility for.

Tom, after you steeped yourself in psychology, sociology and behavior research I was sincerely hoping and waiting for your insight into the real reasons people yoyo for the '& All Yo-Yo Dieters' of which I admit with humility being one of, or was the blog only about Oprah?

HP

Tom you are so right! Oprah needs to understand that just because she has acquired all her fame it does not make her super human. She needs to understand that she needs to be consistent with her healthy eating habits and with her workouts. It is alright to cheat once in awhile food wise, but consistency, responsibility and accountability go hand in hand!

HP,

I wouldnt suggest putting responsibility on others or setting goals only to please others either. But I would recommend using a social support system as motivational leverage AFTER you had set your own goals and accepted responsibility for your situation, your actions and your results.

And, I think this particular strategy - using accountability - is especially applicable in Oprahs situation.

To answer your question, Yes, I will most certainly blog about many of my other discoveries in long term weight maintenance and how to better stick too your nutrition and training, in the weeks ahead. That is also the main focus of my new book. Accountability is only one of many strategies you can use to get motivated, stay motivated and stay on the path.

best regards

tom venuto

PS you wrote:

If I had the weight of the world looking down on if I was getting it together or not in my weight management issues, I wouldn't just feel humiliated, if I failed I would be crushed

which is EXACTLY why you would NOT fail!.... if only you had the courage to make yourself accountable... and which is why so few people ever do.

hi tom,

another great post and like a few other people have mentioned here, cannot wait to get the new book.

i have been using BFFM with my clients (i am a personal trainer and long time student of bodybuilding) for ages and the only problem if you could even call it that was it's inclination to the bodybuilding lifestyle. we both know what a difference that can make to anyone, but i have really been experimenting with a less technical, more whole foods, incorporate into a "normal persons lifestyle" kind of program that is having great results.

i read in your interview with Kyle recently that you had a similar plan for your new book (correct me if i am wrong) which i know i will be getting and learning even more from. i was finding with some clients the old saying to be true "if the student hasn't learned, the teacher hasn't taught", which is not so much about the information but the way in which it is delivered and able to be integrated into the life of for example, a mother with 2 kids, a job, family commitments, etc. and then hoping they find time to count calories while preparing family meals!

this is no criticism of BFFM or any calorie counting plan as i recommend people do it for at least a few days to a week to ensure they really do know how much they are consuming.

love your work and all the best for the festive season!

Hi Tom,
I'm really new to all of this. However reading all of these comments have really helped me to try and get myself to a healhty person. I purshached the BFFM, yes I scanned through it
But haven't put it to use. I have decided to work "Train hard and expect success"!!!! I hope this works. I also have hypothyroid and have blamed my thyroid condition on me being fat I weigh 200lbs. and have worked out here and there. I'm starting on my journey tomorrow and I pray this will help me get fit and healthy!

Tom,
Totally agree with you re external responsibility and I am living proof of it myself. It is not quite "off subject" but I overcame compulsive gambling by being totally honest and open to EVERYONE about it and being totally non Anonymous. Having blown in excess of $600k in 20 years and devastated my life I've been clean for 2 1/2 years. By building that layer of external pressure on me I signed up to the cause in a far more dramatic and meaniful way than trying to cure myself through anonymous meetings or under the cover of internet chatrooms. A knock on effect of overcoming the gambling was that I knocked off 40 lbs also as I controlled not only my mind but my body finally.I'm now in the process of finishing a complete system to help the millions of others achieve the same as I did.
Great work as ever and thanks

Phil

Hi, I admire Oprah's achievements and I think she has motivated a lot of people to lose weight. I am a mother of 2 in my late 40's I work an 8-5 job and I still manage to wake up at 5, be at the gym by 6 and in the office by 8 five days a week. I also try to eat a healthy diet (complex carbs, lean proteins, whole wheat pasta, bread etc, low-fat) most of the time. I must say I am in pretty good shape for my age. Its not easy to be perfect all the time but consistency and persistence is the key. I think with all Oprah has at her disposal she should try and take advantage - God has blessed her materially and she helps a lot of people but she should also help herself stay in good shape/health.

I'm not a follower of Oprah, but I can speak from the perspective of a person who once struggled with my weight. I also have a background in psychology, so I believe my opinion may be close to the pith of the issue. As a star, Oprah is scrutinized continuously by the media and fans alike. There is this expectation of perfection and youthfulness that stars, in particular women, have to futilely attempt to accomplish. As one of the most powerful women in the industry, the expectations placed on her are unquestionably heavy, and these high standards probably contribute to her using food as a coping mechanism. If you examine the other end of the spectrum, it's easy to identify starlets who battle with anorexia, bulimia, or drugs to stay unnaturally thin. If her methods of coping were different, this discussion could be about dangerously low weight or drug use. Examining her history, however, would give a better insight into why she chooses food to cope. I am aware that Oprah is a survivor of sexual abuse, and self-esteem issues are fairly common with victims. If this is a self-esteem issue, regaining weight after successful fat loss may be a method of self-punishment. If an increase in stature is accompanied with low self-esteem, negative emotions may lead to a form of sabotage to cause an imbalance in life. Self-sabotage, in the form or weight gain, robs her from complete happiness and enjoyment of her success. Therefore, no amount of accountability will fix the frequent fluctuations in weight. She has a high emotional intelligence, so I'm sure Oprah has discovered the emotional triggers that contribute to her weight fluctuations. Nevertheless, her recent setback is indicative of her failing to completely internalize lessons learned via introspection, Sadly, so many of us struggle with similar issues, and I'm sure she'll positively use her ability to influence others as she finally overcomes obesity.

Hi Tom
Yes I agree 100% with you. I too struggle with my weight. Pschologically - to enable us to meet our own goals-we need to be held accountable: Publically - humiliating it is -believe me! It is one more cornerstone for success. NO-one wants to be obese. Yet it happens. Oprah too is as human as the rest of us. The fact that she is wealthy with access to all the experts in the world and she still failed, gives me one less excuse to use. It means I don't have to be rich to loose weight. It boils down to health and attitude. Even if people loves us for who we are not how we look - We want to be thin, and healthy - it is so humiliating to have to go to clothing stores and head straight for the bigger section. I have to settle for clothes because it fits - not because I love it and have to have it. I hate myself for looking the way I do. I have to swallow my tears before leaving the dressing room and smile to the people in the store who think I am such a sunny person. Always happy! Really ? So is it really that much more humiliating to be held accountable publically? No ? so let us all help each other, including Oprah ! Like with alcoholics & drug addicts- let us start intervention programs. You don't leave a alcoholic alone at home with a bar full of booze if you care about that person ? Why then do you let me have a house full of food and a fridge full of junk food if you know I'm addicted to food ? Accountabillity and responsibility. Love & Help each other. Charmaine - from South Africa.

T wang wrote:

As one of the most powerful women in the industry, the expectations placed on her are unquestionably heavy, and these high standards probably contribute to her using food as a coping mechanism.

Without a doubt! eating to cope and eating in response to stress are major causes of inappropriate eating for many people; and there are many other psychological reasons for excess weight and weight relapse as well

If you examine the other end of the spectrum, it's easy to identify starlets who battle with anorexia, bulimia, or drugs to stay unnaturally thin. If her methods of coping were different, this discussion could be about dangerously low weight or drug use

thanks for mentioning that. Yes indeed, and I addressed that very issue in a previous post (link below) and Im glad that Oprah has stated that her goals are not just to get "thin" but to get healthy, strong and fit

scary skinny tabloid tell alls

I have to comment here because I totally understand Oprah's predicament. I've lost and looked great and then I gain back very slowly. While I think you have definitely hit the nail on the head with accountability, I have to add that there has to be some reason for her eating that she is not addressing (and this goes for myself too) ... it gives us all something to think about

Tom,

If I had the weight of the world looking down on if I was getting it together or not in my weight management issues, I wouldn't just feel humiliated, if I failed I would be crushed.

This is what I meant: http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/weightgain.htm

Surely you know about stress effects on the human body and especially on weight management? Not withstanding the psychological effects on the lives of people who are constantly under a microscope being in the public’s eye?

Do we know what past psychological issues she has had to deal with in her life or is still dealing with that might be affecting her health today? Because she is a public figure, that does not give us the right to make her feel like she has to also put her personal life and deep issues out there just because part of her job is entertaining others?

Support yes but from her own private entourage and people who care about her, not the quantity of anonymous people who could fill a small state? Do we really know that her guest specialists haven't talked with her and are not providing counsel that is not sugar coated while we fill blogs using her name?

Accountability is good but to oneself. The only persons we are accountable to is God and ourselves. No other person should be made the persons we are accountable to or be the judges of whom or what we are or accomplish.

Thank you.

If accountability produces stress, then accountability is positive stress at its best.

As hans selye the father of stress said himself,

“A stress-free life is an impossible goal—we need some stress to be alive. After all, we call it blood PRESSURE. Without some pressure, we are dead.”

Try putting some POSITIVE PRESSURE on yourself - from within (personal responsibility/self accountability) AND from others (external accountability) and see how your accomplishments soar!

TOM

Tom, you should visit the website johnstonefitness.com. John Stone, the founder, utilizes that as a tool for holding himself accountable. In it he documents his food intake, exercise program as well as supplying daily updates as to the progress he is making with his body. He furnishes pictures and ancetodotes as to the struggles he has had in the past, which had compelled him to take action in the first place. It really is an inspirational website. I don't think anyone can vouch for the efficacy of public accountability quite like John. It seems to have made the difference for him.

Scott

THANKS for mentioning that. I am familiar with John stone and applaud his fine work, and moreover the example he sets and lives for others - with photographic proof.

Look at what he achieved -- transformed himself and rallied and inspired a whole community of people around him. My point exactly! - THIS IS WHAT MOST "DIET DOCTORS DONT DO!!!!" Instead, it's, " DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO!"

Imagine what oprah could do - she doesnt just have an internet forum or a blog, she has a media empire

There is another man who will vouch for it -- that is Adam waters, who i have featured on this blog in the past and have had the privilege to meet more than once.

Adam waters - accountability on the internet

Adam didnt just start a blog - HE STARTED A MOVEMENT! Daily accountability photos posted online. That takes tremendous committment and strength to overcome the fear of failure or criticism with an audience in "real time" as adam calls it ... its like live TV, you dont know whats going to happen.. and thats why the accountability is real

. And now he has kept his weight off for years after several failed attempts and his followers are starting to hit 300 or even 400 days of accountability photos and daily journaling via blog - meaning they lost the weight and are keeping it off with accountability.

not only john and adam will vouch for it, so will all their readers and fans

But no one has ever done anything like this off a Televeision media platform. So far the shows have only been about "biggest losers" or "12 week transformations" -- but how about the leader of the movment transforming him or herself FIRST and then calling others to follow their example.. and doing it sensibly with the long term in mind.

Its a win-win

Tom V.

Hey Tom! Isn't funny we all think if I had money. I would look better because I could hire a personal chef and personal trainer. Well, this is a perfect example of how we have to be responsible for ourselves no matter what. The root of the problem is in the mindset. You have to come to terms with why you eat (emotional,stress,etc.) then learn how to take your life back and learn how to look at food differently. I am a yo-yo'er and I struggle daily. I have to always have it in my head of why I want to eat and just eat when I need to. You are very inspiring, thank you.

Tom, you're so right! I'm having the same problem right now, the yo-yo thing. I find that when I'm with friends, bf, etc then I eat and exercise right. There's an accountability and "positive pressure" because I know they have a certain image of me. But when I'm bored at home alone then I often don't eat or exercise right. There's no one around for me to be accountable to. I'm thinking my solution is to be out and around people a LOT so I don't have time to be bored and home and eat what I shouldn't be eating. People = accountability in my case. Thanks again Tom.

mary wrote:

The root of the problem is in the mindset.

Thank you and Amen.

Now all we have to do is go share that truth with all the people who are still arguing about low carb or high carb or which "DIET" is best for people who are still yo yo ing up and down - it doesnt matter which diet you choose if you cant get yourself to stick with it!

turn inwards first. Understand thyself. Understand what drives and causes your behaviors - the root causes. Get your mindset, attitudes, beliefs and values in order

But dont stop there -- then, go get as much support and motivational leverage as you need from other people as well...

Ponder this paradox: you have to do it on your own, but you cant do it by yourself.

best regards,

Tom Venuto

Hi Tom,

I sympathise with Oprah. I am a bit of a yo-yo dieter myself. I can tell you that the toughest thing about getting into shape at least for me, is trying to develop and maintain good eating habits as part of my lifestyle. It comes as no surprise to me that a number of people would dread changing their lifestyle habits from couch potatoes, smokers, crisp munchers or whatever to a healthy one. I can honestly say that this requires a lot of effort. As the Health Service Journal (HSJ Supplement, 25 September 2008) put it, "There's so much advertising on buses and the TV and it's as if people can't see the wood for the trees. It's so in your face they don't see it." People have simply become oblivious to the advertising. This statement was in relation to anti-smoking ads but may well apply to weight-related issues. My point here is that people ultimately, will decide what they choose to do. A healthy lifestyle involves making countless sacrifices and many do not see the point in making this effort. I've felt total glee when I shed weight and almost reached my target weight. But then, I try to see if I could get away with it (that is, keeping the weight off) by adding in a glass of wine here, and then there, and a dessert and then...voila, before you know it, the scales have tipped over again! Why? Simply because I wish I did not have to make all of this effort to stay healthy and until I'm prepared to accept the fact that nothing, including healthy habits, don't come by easy and involves a lot of hard work, the scale will continue to dance to my (unfortunately disturbing) music!

Suzanne, London

I can so sympathize with Oprah even though I have never yo-yoed like Oprah. I own a health food store and have many people who look to me for advice and information. I can tell you all about what you need to do but cannot seem to follow a program myself for more than a day or even half a day for that matter. (I used to just fine) I used to run track in high school and was always very strong and fit. Then in 1994 my hormones messed up and it took years to find out my thyroid, adrenals and ovaries were not doing what they were suppose to be doing. Well it is 100 pounds later and I am still gaining weight a little bit at a time. Doctors say my thyroid levels are fine. I have blamed it on stress; bad marriage, kids, having to work to much etc… When I eat to much protein my liver feels like it is going to pop out of my side and I get extremely fatigued when I exercise. I even went on all raw foods and juicing for 5 months and didn’t loose an ounce of weight. People said I didn’t do it long enough. I couldn’t keep eating all raw food it was driving me crazy. This may sound like a sad story, but all I am saying is that it is something besides accountability or responsibility. I don’t think it is hidden issues. I, like Oprah, came from an abusive past, so what it never bothered me before; lots of people have bad pasts. I never had any problems until my endocrine system screwed up. I gained weight from my first two pregnancies and lost weight fine after both of them. Everything about me changed when my health changed. My personality, likes, dislikes, body shape etc… I however do not think it is the thyroid alone. I know many people with thyroid issues that have been successful with their goals. Something act with or interferes with the thyroid action. In the hospital after the birth of my third child my thyroid kicked in high gear. I lost 7 pounds in just days (fat weight not baby birth weight) the fat was pouring out of my skin. Soon after I got home it all stopped dry skin returned and no more weight loss.

Stephanie

G'day Tom,

Awesome article mate. I believe you hit the nail on the head with your words above:

Turn inwards first. Understand thyself. Understand what drives and causes your behaviors - the root causes. Get your mindset, attitudes, beliefs and values in order

But dont stop there -- then, go get as much support and motivational leverage as you need from other people as well...

In my experience, practicing "Web 2.0 external accountability" is an awesome way of creating "positive pressure" and "helping" you to maximize follow through and compliance, but ultimately will still count very little if you don't take the time to get your "head right" first.

I'm looking forward to reading your Accountability section in Body Fat Solution Tom!

Cheers,
Adam

PS Maybe Oprah will have Tom on as a guest when BFS goes massive!

Hi
I have ordered your new book coming in Jan and I hope it helps my yo-yoing and helps me to control my sugar cravings. I've did a lot of internet searching on Ophra's yo-yoing and ran across a article that states Ophra's Leptin is out of control and out of control Leptin causes uncrontrollable sugar cravings/relapses. I'm going to go with that until I get your book in Jan. I have to hope for a lifeline during the Holidays. I wish your book had came out before the Holidays. Why Jan?

BTW, I made it thru the Christmas dinner last evening and got home proud of myself. Yes I probably ate to much but I didn't eat near as much as I wanted to. One day at a time. Only a yo-yo person knows what I feel. If you aint been there, don't tell me what to do. Sounds like an alcoholic doesn't it. You better believe it because it's true, I'm not a alcoholic but I've been to AA meetings with family members and alcoholism runs parallel with my sugar addiction.

After I walked this afternoon I ran into one of the local dudes and he made the comment that it didn't look like walking was doing my waist any good. Is this accountability to someone? Tell me what I should do now? Do I get mad and go on a yo-yo diet to show him I can do it, try to kick the crap out of him at my age, or what? Some of you will say that would give you motivation to lose, it made me want to say to h--- with it and eat. It aint at all easy like some of you stronger people think.

I think I just attended a AA meeting after rereading this. I would like to add LOL but it's not funny at all.
Good luck on your new book.

Rod

Hi Tom
I just recieved and read your new newsletter about surviving the holidays without turning into a " Scrooge" and I needed it. Anyone reading my previous post can see why it helped.
Thanks
Rod

Rachel, what you said is so true! The IMAGE we uphold when there is people around us. Eyes that see what we stick in our mouths. But the moment no one is watching us, we dive into food. Even sometimes healthy food! Just way too much of it! We should all remember that CHARACTER and INTEGRITY is not what you do when you are around people, but what you do when you think no-one is watching. Perhaps that should be on a fridge magnet! (and on top of the TV where we sit and consume bags of crisps…

Problem is we should make the connection that the people will (in any case) see the lack of exercise and uncontrolled eating in the shape and size of our bodies. It really is necessary for us to have someone to be accountable to, other than yourself.

We all know what the right things to do are. We just are not disciplined enough to stick to it. Like Tom said (thank u, Tom!! And Terry for reminding us), we must get to the point where “THE PAIN OF REMAINING THE SAME, IS GREATER THAN THE PAIN OF CHANGING". I am at the point where I should literally loose the weight equivalent of 1 healthy person! When is the Pain of shame and humiliation going to be enough? I honestly feel ready to physically harm the next person who asks if I’m pregnant. WHEN WILL THE PAIN BE ENOUGH TO FORCE ME TO CHANGE?

We must keep our end result (the body we want) in mind. And it is easier to reach a goal if

A) we write it down and
B) we tell people about our goal and ask them to keep us accountable.

Hi Tom, I agree with T Wang comments, I am a yo/yo diet -no diet woman, as you mention from Oprah, I am a PHd in diets and workouts all by experience, but each time begining is harder.

Although is more hard I have begin and reached my goal many times, struggling with my own self image since teenager. I have realized I created my weigth problem by my own...I am the creator of all the fat in me, i was healthy and very nice looking in the eyes of others ... but not in mine. Until today each time I regain all the weight I loose I ask my self WHY I AM PUNISHING ME....?

As I said I agree with Mr T Wang who said he is a sicologist, in the sense that I am sabotaging my happiness and so is Oprah. I agree with him that there is some very deep issue of *not deserving*. I am trully working on it , but I am still.

There is only one mantra i have... *persistence*. but sometimes I got very angry with me.... for each time I reach the very best of whom I am, I began to fear if I could stay there....and that fear is what makes me focus, not in whom I want to be o who I am but in the one I dont want to be...and I feel it is true that the thing in which we focus in the thing we obtain.

And that accountability thing, didn't work for me, I felt as if I am in the eye of everyone, imprissioned in the outside judgement, may works for others, but not for me.

Tom,I am really expecting your new book, I admire your work , and I really want this new book to help me to get the way to stop sabotaging my own happiness. I can remember the fullness and integrity I felt when I reach my goals...why then I cant sustain them? Now I am bored and tired of having to begin all over again. Thanks for the chance to communicate with you and your bloggers.

Silvia.

Hi Tom,
I agree with the accountability to one's self, as well as to others. I have repeatedly tried to lose wieght on my own and have failed. When I joined Weight Watchers with a friend and had to be accountable to my meeting group, I really started to see results. I used BFFM diet plan with the weight watchers points, and all the workout and positive attitude change information, such as positive self talk, and goal setting, as metionend in BFFM. I have lost 43lbs and 18% body fat so far. You don't have to be a body builder to get extremely valuable information from BFFM. I think Oprah needs to read BFFM, as well as your new book, which I am eagerly awaiting!!!

Stacy;

I think the fact that WW has accountability built in is one of the reasons it is more widely successful and generally more highly regarded than many of the other popular weight loss programs today. Another good example of accountability in action.

Show up to a meeting or with a counselor and get your self weighed in, measured, body fat checked etc. that is REAL accountability. Go to a meeting like that WITH a friend -- even better!

Have a GREAT weekend and thanks for your comment

tom

I believe that a great part of Oprah’s problem is under-treated thyroid, as well as over-consumption of soy. BUT, I also feel this is an addiction problem. As she says, “She gave up and started eating anything she wanted.” That is part of the addiction problem. Addicts use all kinds of excuses to use their substance of choice. I truly believe that any addiction is a problem of not dealing with whatever issue is causing anxiety in us - even if we are not truly aware that what is going on in us is anxiety. So, for awhile our intense need and desire to lose our excess weight is strong enough to get us to do what we need to do to take off the excess weight, but if we do not find a way to deal with the underlying anxiety, then at some point we will find some excuse to start eating again. The need to deal with the anxiety will overwhelm our desire and drive to lose the excess weight.

I also believe that addiction is a physiological as well as a psychological problem. I myself am a yo-yo dieter. I can do really well and stay on my diet as long as I do not eat any desserts at all. But, have just one and I am quickly on the slippery slope to eating lots of them, and the weight is piling back on. I also have a severe physical reaction to sweets in that they cause me to be very stressed out feeling and have intense anxiety, which then feeds eating even more junk food to feed the anxiety feelings, and so it goes round and round. If I get off the sugars my feelings of anxiety almost totally go away and I feel happy and content. Give me sugar though and I quickly become an unhappy person. I really feel the same way on sugar as I felt on alcohol, which I gave up over 32 years ago. You hear about the crying drunk. Well, on sugar I become an anxiety ridden, unhappy person. Hyperactivity runs in my family, and all my family members who have hyperactivity problems react to sugar this way.

Still, it is a choice to eat sugar or stay off of it, but everything a person does in this society revolves around food. If I can order from a menu I can make somewhat healthier choices but often there are no healthy choices at these places. And, events where the menu is set, or where it is pot-luck dinners there really is no healthy choices. What I am saying is that being surrounded by all these events where there is nothing but unhealthy food, and tons of pressure from society to partake, I find myself on a very slippery slope. Just like alcohol addiction it is so much easier to “stay clean” if you stay away from your addictive substance, but when one of your addictive substances is food, that can leave you feeling pretty isolated.

As far as ‘not’ being able to lose weight with a thyroid condition I find that quite false. Before my thyroid condition was adequately treated I did lose 56 pounds, but it was a long, slow process. I exercised one hour a day and did 20 or more hours of intensive gardening a week (lots of wheelbarrow work) to lose .85 of a pound per week. Got down to a size 9, had a dessert and felt right back into my addiction to sugar. From the time I ate that first dessert I totally “forgot” about losing weight. Yes, literally “forgot”. All that stuck in my mind was my next dessert.

I have gotton down to size nine about 3 times, and suddenly “forgot” all about losing weight. Forgot all about my goals. I need to find out why I work so hard to get “almost to goal” and when I am almost there I always fall back into my addiction. I finally realize that if I am to get to goal and maintain, then I need to deal with the issues underlying my addiction and deal with the anxiety and the biochemical reactions that drive it.

As for Oprah having to be “accountable to us”, we can only be accountable to our own self. Addiction is a journey that is unstable, with many slips, and ups and downs. When one addiction is dealt with it often just transfers to another addiction, unless the underlying reasons are dealt with. We are not here to judge another’s journey. We each make our own path, with the support of our own close network - not the world at large.

As a health professional I ABSOLUTELY agree with Tom about accountability/responsibility. I know about healthy eating,exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle but I too have struggled with weight over time. I LOVE food and I LOVE to cook but am now fitter and leaner than a year ago with a good support crew ( family) who help keep me on track when I run the risk of going back to my old habits. Doesn't mean it isn't hard or isn't a daily struggle. Oprah could really benefit from taking personal responsibility and having to be accountable to someone else who isn't soft on her.

One thing I have noticed is that most of us deceive ourselves when it comes to what we eat and how much exercise we do. Most people actually UNDER estimate what they eat and OVER estimate how much exercise they do.
Keep a food diary with EVERY morsel that you eat for a week and most people would be surprised at how many calories they consume. With busy lifestyles most of us pay little attention to the food we eat. We gobble meals on the run. We eat in front of the TV. When waiting in the queue at the supermarket we buy a chocolate bar; pass the bakery and buy a pastry; have a cuppa with a friend and have something to eat as well; go to a function and eat far more than we need 'because it's free'; 'treat' yourself with something tasty to eat.
In Australia we have a chain of restaurants where you can eat as much as you like for a set fee. Most people pile their plates high with food to get ' value for money'. I have even seen people eat so much they were vomiting at the table. Nice!
Generally food portion sizes are HUGE. Our dinner plates are several centimetres larger than the ones we used to have as children. And we are all ' too busy' to find 30 minutes a day for exercise. ( How many hours do we spend a week in front of the computer or TV??)
There are VERY FEW medical conditions which contribute to weight gain which won't shift. Over eating and laziness account for most weight gain no matter how much you wish it were otherwise. Most of us simply aren't honest with ourselves when it comes to food and exercise.
Every choice you make has consequences. If you choose to over eat or you choose not to exercise that is entirely your right
Accountability/personal responsibility also comes in the form of will-power. Do you REALLY need to have 8 pieces of chocolate? a whole piece of cake with cream and icecream? coke and chips?
Losing weight and being fit and healthy usually require lifestyle changes that need maintaining for the rest of your life.
There are no quick fixes when it comes to health, fitness and weight loss. It is time that in our 'instant' world we recognize that some things take time and effort to get results.
Stop making excuses! Be honest!
Are you planning already on over consuming at Christmas simply because it is Christmas? How much have you eaten or drunk at parties and Christmas functions in the past few days?
If you don't make time for health you will eventually have to make time for ill-health.
Merry Christmas.

None of you really get it, including Tom Venuto, who I think is just amazing and I just adore, BTW. Oprah can be accountable to the whole world, have her before and after photos, and all the stats posted on the 'net for all the world to see. And she would probably lose weight. In fact, she was accountable with the whole Make the Connection period of her life. But that is not the real issue. The real issue is why she continues to abuse food. THAT is the issue. She is using her thyroid condition as an excuse for NOT working out. The issue isn't exercise as much as it is food.

You have to remember that Oprah may be a billionnaire, but she wasn't born one. She was sexually abused as a young girl for many years. As a result she got pregnant and her baby died. What an absolutely awful, traumatic childhood. With all that she has overcome and her many triumphs, I am positive that NOTHING hit her harder than to have the very children who she hoped to give a better chance to in South Africa go through the same sexual abuse she experienced.

After that, her weight shot up like a balloon.

Food is a source of comfort for her. She needs to find healthier ways to find that solace, that resolution in order to help her not drown her feelings and emotions in food.

Tom, does your new book address this very crucial issue for emotional eaters?

Dee. I get it perfectly. And I agree with your assessment that:

* causes of overeating / overweight can reside deep in the unconscious and go all the way back to very early childhood ( just ask any good hypnotherapist)

* You cannot make excuses - even thyroid - you can either make excuses or get results, but you cant do both

* a mental change has to take place on the inside first before a change can take place on the outside

* Food is a source of comfort for people. You must find other, more constructive ways to feed your emtions. Emotional hunger cannot be satisfied with food.

But even if someone consciously realizes that past abuse, childhood trauma or early subconscious programming is causing self sabotaging behavior, they cant use that as an excuse either or continue toidentify with that as an adult.

Even after the necessary changes have been made mentally and emotionally, and even once the deepest causes are acknowledged and dealt with, you still need motivational leverage to help you stick with your self-committments.

The issue is complex. It is not one diminensional. It is not as simple as "you regained the weight because you were not accountable."

But mark my words, getting leverage on yourself - and external accountability is one of the best ways - can sure help you hold you to your self-promises like nothing else

You wrote

Tom, does your new book address this very crucial issue for emotional eaters?

Thats one of the major themes of The Body Fat Solution. The subtitle is : 5 principles for burning fat, building lean muscle, ENDING EMOTIONAL EATING and maintaining your perfect weight.

I give a 5 step formula for ending emotional eating, I discuss how childhood programming, self-limiting beliefs, negative attitudes and unconscious patterns can keep you fat AND I teach you how to be accountable to self and others. I teach all of it.

This blog post was just discussing ONE small but powerful part of the solution

Tom

I had a dream TOM you were on Oprah!!

She so needs you!

This stuff works, I lost around 40 lbs on your program and over the holidays I haven't regained a single pound of fat even though I have been as slack as ever! I think I may have continued to lose even "off the wagon" due to all the hard muscle now resident in my body!

TOM you have no idea.

This stuff works! She needs you Tom!

Train hard and expect success all!

That was the exact thing I was thinking about when walking home after the gym doing my Day 6 Cardio for RTP. I came home and went on the shreddersphere and found the link to your blog and found this blog about Oprah. LOL... So crazy.
I do hope she contacts you or joins us on the shreddersphere. That would be too cool!

Keep up the great work! Your attitude and leadership really resonate with me. Thanks!

Great blog. Here's my story: Been slim and healthy most of my life until age 30 when I started gaining weight. Had some hormone issues that contributed but got the hormones under control, but didn't have a clue how to lose weight or keep it off.

Steadily gained through my 40's a little at a time until I find myself a good 40 lbs. overweight. All the while trying fad diets and losing weight but gaining it back. Yo Yo'ed literally for the last 8-9 years or so,. A terrible roller coaster that I wanted to get off of.

I did the Body for Life program from July to September of 08. (Turned 52 in September of 08) Lost 9 lbs and 2 dresss sizes, rather quickly. Gained great muscle shape. Stopped working out because I lost my workout partner, when the program ended. Went back to eating an unbalanced diet.

The program had an end. That was the problem for me being a yo yo "dieter" I had gained and lost the same weight several times using several different "fad diets" over the past 8-9 years. (not that BFL is a fad, because it is very sound)

In January of 09, I was really determined to lose the 9 I regained and their friends who came along (the extra weight I gained in addition to the weight I lost)

I ordered BFFM and read the book cover to cover in January of 09. Wrote my goals and positive affermations. Tried to count calories, but became too lazy to write everything down. I lazed out on the exercise. Didn't really see any weight or fat loss, because I really wasn't following the program correctly.

Very quickly gave up. Gained more weight between January and May and started looking for a program again. I found the Alli weight loss pill and started taking it and was trying the diet as well which is calorie counting as well. Lost 3 lbs.

Then my employer started Weight Watchers at Work in June 09. What a godsend for me. I have read a lot about weight loss, nutrition, etc. For God's sake, I read your book from cover to cover!!! I have the intellictual capacity to understand it, and follow it, but it wasn't until I joined Weight Watchers and started COUNTING MY POINTS (calories) getting the support and education, and having the accountability to myself (and the leader) in a group support system that I started to really see good success and lose weight every single week.

I seem to do better when doing it (losing weight) with others.

The accountablility is a VERY STRONG AND MOTIVATING FACTOR. Also, Weight Watchers HAS NO END. It is a lifetime program. When I reach my goal weight, I can enter the maintenance plan and still attend my meetings weekly.

The on line tracking tools really eased the burdon of writing everything down as well, it is soooo easy and fast to count points (calories)

Weight Watchers has taught me "coping mechanisms" to deal with my eating. I even have a plan in place today so that I will lose over the holidays, '09, NOT GAIN.

Now that I have the meetings, the support of others, the
accountability and the education, I am on my way to my goal and maintenance.

I haven't reached goal yet, but I am certain I will make it and maintain it. I have learned so much about myself and the physchological aspects of weight loss during this 6 month journey in Weight Watchers. I have learned to battle hunger in healthy ways. I have learned about emotional eating, and how to battle that with coping mechanisms.

I have also added in the weight lifting, and cardio to my life as well which gives me so much energy and good feelings as well as the "clean eating". No to mention the niiiice shape I am getting.

I do give myself room to have free meals, but your words always stick with me "it's what you do most of the time that counts" . I love your blogs and newsletters, and was actually going back to read some of your older blogs and ran across this one, and I do believe that for me the outside accountability is one of the keys to my success along with the education and group support.

Because I follow a healthy BALANCED diet and exercise I am doing great MOST OF THE TIME, I don't feel guily about the occasional splurge, because most of the time I am doing great!! I mean 95% of the time.

I've lost fat slow and steady, about 5 lbs. per month. I am very happy with that. I have some nice muscle shape that I love too.

Thanks for all of your blogs and education. I strongly believe in accountability along with education and support. But for me it was not just the accountability to myself, but knowing you have to weigh in with your leader is just so strong and motivating. I don't know why, but that doesn't matter, just keep on doing what I've been doing consistently and persistantly and I will see success, in fact now I expect it.

My advise to Yo Yo dieters is find a program with no end or don't set a goal and stop, set a new goal immediately when you reach your current goal.

After reading this blog, I think I will set up my facebook page for accountability during my next phase, which is to lose 20 more pounds, I am only half way to my goal, it would be a fun way stay to on track, and see my progress through photos.

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