Every once in a while, I read a book that I believe is so important, so foundational, that I want to hand it to everyone who ever asked me, “Tom, how do I stay motivated and consistent?”
This is one of those books.
And yet – I’ll say this honestly right up front – this is not an easy read. It’s academic and very dry in places. It requires patience.
You can’t skim, speed-read, or breeze through this book on a Sunday afternoon and “get it.”But if you care about motivation – optimal motivation, lasting motivation – and especially if you care about long-term fitness and fat loss, the concepts in this book are life-changing.
In fact, I’ve already been weaving these principles into my own writing and coaching for a long time because the science aligns perfectly with everything I’ve seen in my 37 year career, and in 19 years of running the Burn the Fat Inner Circle community.
So here’s my honest, two-part rating:
5 out of 5 stars for the ideas and psychology
3 out of 5 stars for readability.
If you’re willing to read slowly, pause often, and let the ideas sink in, I think this book can change the way you think about health, fitness, goals. It could even transform your satisfaction with your whole life.
Who Is Edward Deci – And Why The Concepts In This Book Matter
Edward Deci is not a motivational speaker. He’s not a social media guru. He’s not a pop-psych author trying to sell you feel-good slogans.
Deci is a psychologist who, along with his research partner Richard Ryan, pioneered the study of intrinsic motivation. He is the founder of Self-Determination Theory (SDT) – the gold standard model of human motivation in modern psychology.
This theory isn’t fringe or controversial. It has 50 years of research behind it. Scholars all over the world accept SDT the same way they accept the foundational work of Locke and Latham on goal-setting. We’re talking about a field that is well-established, deeply researched, and solid as bedrock.
Why We Do What We Do, published in 1995, is Deci’s attempt to bring all the research to the mainstream reader.
This isn’t a journalist writing about someone else’s research. This is the guy who invented the field, and did the pioneering research explaining the truth about motivation.
That alone makes the book worth the effort.
The Biggest Myth About Motivation – and Why It Matters for Fat Loss
Most people think motivation comes from the outside.
- The carrot and the stick.
- Rewards and punishments.
- Prizes, praise, fear, guilt.
- The coach’s fiery locker-room speech.
- The deadline imposed on you that keeps you “on track.”
- The social media that makes you feel inspired for a minute.
Deci flips this myth upside down.
External motivation works – but only for a while.
The problem? As soon as the reward stops, the motivation stops too.
Deci said it best:
“Self-motivation, rather than external motivation, is at the heart of creativity, responsibility, healthy behavior, and lasting change.”
Think about that word: lasting. That’s what we want, right? Especially in fitness – not 12 weeks, not until contest day, not until the photoshoot – but for life.
This is where Deci’s model, SDT, becomes essential.
The ARC of Intrinsic Motivation: Autonomy, Relatedness, Competence
Deci explains that humans have three basic psychological needs, and when these needs are met, motivation grows naturally from within.
I rearranged the order so it forms a memorable acronym: ARC.
A = Autonomy (Choice)
The feeling that you are the author of your actions. Not pressured. Not controlled. Not coerced. But choosing for yourself.
R = Relatedness (Connection)
Feeling supported, cared for, and part of a group or relationship that allows autonomy.
C = Competence (Effectiveness, Growth, Mastery)
Feeling like you are capable, improving, progressing, growing, learning, or becoming skilled.
When these three needs are supported, intrinsic motivation flourishes. When they are undermined, your motivation collapses.
This is true whether you’re trying to eat better, work out consistently, lose 30 pounds, quit smoking, or learn a new skill.
It’s also true whether you’re a parent, a teacher, a manager, or a coach – anyone in a “one-up” leadership position.
Part I Summary: Autonomy and Competence (Chapters 2–5)
Autonomy – The Cornerstone
Deci dedicates a huge portion of the early part of the book to autonomy. In fact, he makes it clear that autonomy – having choice – is the foundation on which all lasting motivation rests.
When people feel controlled – pressured by rules, dictated plans, imposed goals, surveillance, judgment, or evaluation – intrinsic motivation evaporates.
Deci writes:
“Authenticity necessitates behaving autonomously, or it means being the author of one’s own actions.”
This is a deep, existential truth: Humans need to feel free.
Now think about the diet industry:
“Eat exactly this.”
“No carbs allowed.”
“Follow my rules or you’re doing it wrong.”
It works short-term, sometimes well, because the structure is clear and people want structure. It fails long-term because it demands compliance instead of giving you choices.
Rigid dieting destroys autonomy – and therefore destroys motivation. (Flexible dieting promotes autonomy and long-term success and happiness).
Rewards: They Work… Until They Don’t
Deci doesn’t say rewards are useless. They absolutely work.
But here’s the catch:
Rewards may increase the likelihood of behaviors, but only so long as the rewards keep coming. Once you become dependent on rewards – money, prizes, praise, likes – it becomes incredibly difficult to go back. When the rewards stop, the motivation stops immediately. Sound familiar?
That’s why transformation contests, Biggest Loser-style competitions, and ego-driven fitness often lead to rebound. If the ONLY reason you’re dieting or training is to impress people or win something, sooner or later you will quit, cut corners, or both.
Deci warns:
“People can be pretty creative in getting around rules; they can be pretty clever in finding the shortest path to a reward.”
In fitness, we see this all the time:
- Crash dieting
- Performance-enhancing drugs
- Dehydration/diuretics
- Extreme cardio
- Unsustainable methods
- Manipulating data or photos
- Cheating
Anything to “win” – even at the cost of long-term health and personal integrity.
This is why external motivation must never be the primary driver.
Rewards should be used to acknowledge effort and improvement – not to replace the internal reason why you’re doing something.
Competence – The Motivation Of Growth And Mastery
Competence grows when you experience effectiveness – when you see progress, learn skills, and solve problems.
There is no accomplishment without goals – it’s the starting point of all achievement. And goals are powerful motivators, but only when:
YOU choose them, and
The challenge is optimal – not too easy, not too hard.
This aligns perfectly with decades of goal-setting research. Optimal difficulty leads to engagement. Too easy or too hard kills it.
Part II Summary: Relatedness (Chapters 6–9)
The third core need is relatedness – our need to feel connected.
Deci describes it perfectly:
“People not only need to feel as if they are effective and free, they also need to feel connected with others in the midst of being effective and autonomous. We call it the need for relatedness – the need to love and be loved, to care and be cared for.”
Humans are social. We thrive in groups. We adopt the values of the communities we join. But there’s a danger too:
Deci warns that when self-esteem becomes dependent on approval and praise from our peer group, we lose autonomy. Ego involvement replaces authenticity.
And this is why I keep wondering:
If Deci worried about advertising in 1995, what would he think about social media today?
Because today, people live for approval:
Likes
Followers
Comments
Validation
Social media is one giant external motivator machine. And yes, it can inspire – but it can also destroy intrinsic motivation when the ego and applause become the main drivers.
Yet here’s the beautiful paradox: A supportive community, chosen voluntarily, actually strengthens intrinsic motivation.
This is exactly why group-based fitness challenges – when approached properly – work so well. Our Inner Circle members choose their goals, choose their plans, and pursue them together.
Group support and interaction is not “external motivation” in the controlling sense – it fulfills a basic human need. Relatedness + autonomy = long-term motivation.
Part III Summary: Promoting Autonomy (Chapters 10–12)
Deci spends the final third of the book teaching leaders – parents, teachers, coaches, managers – how to support autonomy.
This is crucial for fitness professionals and anyone guiding others.
The bad coach: Rigid. Controlling. “My way or the highway.”
The good coach: Flexible. Supportive. Offering choice within boundaries.
Deci says:
“One of the central features of being autonomy supportive is giving others choice.”
This is exactly how I instruct in my books – Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, and Flexible Meal Planning For Fat Loss – and how we coach here at the Burn the Fat Inner Circle. Our food and macro advice allows choice. Our 12-week Challenge is also structured with choice in mind:
Burn the Fat challenge participants choose:
Their own goals (not what someone else wants them to do)
Their own nutrition plan (choosing foods and macros they like)
Their training program (there are many to choose from)
Their schedule (chosen to fit their lifestyle)
We provide flexible structure – not rigid control.
How To Evaluate Progress
Deci gives the perfect prescription for tracking and analyzing progress:
“Optimal evaluations are ones where people evaluate their own performance, against standards they set themselves and commit to.”
This is exactly how our program and our transformation challenge works: You track and evaluate your own progress based on the goals you set for yourself, not based on someone else’s standards.
Posting the results where the group can see them simply doubles up on the accountability after self-accountability is already established.
If you fall short, Deci says: Don’t treat it as failure – treat it as a problem to be solved.
I love this. That mindset is where growth happens.
I would add there is no failure if you learn. And if you learn, you are gaining competence even though you didn’t get the result you wanted yet.
Deci warns that competition without autonomy means trouble. He also points out that competitions easily can easily become all-or-nothing events that destroy motivation…
That is, unless you structure them around:
Personal improvement
Choice
Optimal challenge
Supportive community
Done this way – and this is how we do it in the Burn the Fat community – a challenge becomes doubly motivating:
1. It provides external motivation
2. AND it strengthens internal motivation
That’s the sweet spot. External motivation isn’t “bad.” Trying to depend on it exclusively is.
The final chapter’s message: the truth about motivation.
Deci concludes with a line that should be engraved on the wall of every gym, coaching office, and personal development program:
“The truth is that there are no techniques that will motivate people or make them autonomous. Motivation must come from within. A deep personal desire to change must come first.”
This is the heart of SDT and the heart of lifelong fitness.
Final Thoughts – and My Recommendation
Why We Do What We Do is not a breezy to read book. It’s not that long at 200 pages. But it’s academic. It’s not written with the storytelling flair of a Daniel Pink book.
However, the content is priceless.
If you want a deep understanding of:
- How motivation really works
- Why diets fail
- Why people quit
- How to build consistency
- How to coach or lead others
- How to thrive in a controlling world
Then this book is worth every minute of the effort it takes to study it.
I would suggest you read it slowly, highlight key passages, write in the margins, re-read sections of chapters, and sit with the ideas and mull over them.
If you’re a Burn the Fat Inner Circle member – or thinking about joining our 12-week Transformation Challenge – this book will give you the psychological foundation to succeed not just for 12 weeks, but for life.
Because when you understand autonomy, relatedness, and competence – the ARC of motivation – you stop trying to force motivation and you start cultivating it from within.
I strongly recommend this book – not for easy reading, but for powerful ideas – they are potentially life-changing.
You can Get This Book At Amazon: https://amzn.to/4iCEmPd (Amazon associates affiliate link)
–Tom Venuto
PS. Don’t want to read any whole book? If you read the page above, you’ve already been introduced to the basics. To learn more about how this applies specifically to fitness and weight control, read Intrinsic Motivation For Fitness And Weight Control
The Next Burn The Fat Body Transformation challenge Starts On January 1st. CLICK HERE to see the challenge calendar
About Tom Venuto
Tom Venuto is a natural bodybuilding and fat loss coach with 35 years of experience. He holds a degree in exercise science and has trained hundreds of clients in person. He is also a recipe creator specializing in fat-burning, muscle-building cooking.
A former competitive bodybuilder, Tom is now a full-time evidence-based fitness writer, blogger, and author. His classic book Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle is an international bestseller, first as an ebook and later as a hardcover and audiobook. His newest book. Extreme Fat Loss, which analyzes controversial diet and training programs, became an instant bestseller in 2025.
Tom’s work has been featured in Men’s Fitness, Oprah Magazine and dozens of other major publications. He is best known for his no-BS, evidence based approach to natural fat loss and muscle-building.
Tom is also the founder of Burn the Fat Inner Circle, a fitness support community with more than 53,000 members worldwide since 2006.
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