Some people just never quit. They have ferocious persistence and they never let go of their goals. They’re like the bulldog that refuses to release its teeth-hold on a bone. No matter how hard you try to pull it out of his mouth… the harder the dog chomps down like a vice. Other people abandon their biggest goals and dreams at the first obstacle they encounter. Did you ever wonder why that is? There is a reason
An extremely important guideline for achieving fitness and fat loss success is the concept that there is no failure; only feedback. You don’t “fail”, you only produce results.
This is a concept from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the first time I ever heard it was from Anthony Robbins. It stuck with me and I made it a part of me, because it’s a very, very powerful shift in mindset that can completely change the way you look at obstacles and difficulties… which in turn can change your results in a dramatic way.
A lot of people will second-guess themselves and they’ll bail out and quit, just because what they try at first doesn’t work. They consider it a permanent failure, but all they need is a little attitude change, a mindset change, or what we call a reframe.
Instead of saying, “This is failure” they can say to themselves, “I produced a result” and “this is only temporary.” This change in perspective is going to change the way that they move forward and how they mentally process and explain the experience. It turns into a learning experience and valuable feedback for a course correction and not a failure.
It’s all about your results and your interpretation of those results
Dr Martin Seligman, a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, did some incredible research on this subject and reported it in his book, Learned Optimism. Dr. Seligman noticed that the difference between people who give up and people who persist and never quit is what he referred to as “explanatory style.” He said that explanatory style is the way we explain or interpret bad events or failures.
People who habitually give up have an explanatory style of permanence. They hit a plateau in their diet and explain it by saying, “diet’s never work” or “I have bad genetics so I’ll always be fat.” These explanations imply permanence. Other people hit a plateau and explain it by saying, “I ate out too many times this week,” or “I haven’t found the right diet for my body type yet.” These explanations of your results imply being temporary.
Those who see obstacles or negative results as permanent failure are the ones who give up easily and often generalize their failure to other areas of their lives. The people who see obstacles as temporary and as valuable learning experiences are the ones who never quit and if you learn from past experiences, not repeating what doesn’t work, and if you never quit, you eventually must succeed.
This article is an excerpt from an interview in my newest e-book, THE FAT BURN FILES, scheduled to be released within the next month. You can sign up for the book release announcement list at http://www.TheFatBurnFiles.com
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I am one of those that quit. I believe it is a form of self sabotage and basic laziness. I am learning to take it one step at a time, one workout at a time.I will workout for 2 weeks and then life creeps back up and I get busy with other things instead of just taking the time that I need for me. Must be the “persecuted mommy” in me. :-)I know your program works because I lost 10% bodyfat at one point in time. But like a lot of other people, I have all the excuses down pat – Work full time, husband travels, 3 kids, 3 dogs, 1 bird.However, I did it before I can do it again!!!! Thanks for the article tom
Thank you so much as this is an awesome article that I am going to show to my parents as they always start new diets and quit.
I have a bad discipline too. But when my relationship failed and I was really miserable over it, I took on sports to put my mind on something. After some cardio work outs, i did some weight training. I felt like “why not set a goal”, I vowed to reach that goal and to show discipline…and that´s what I did.So when i gained 35 pounds and was 170 pounds (i am 5´11), i wanted to lose weight. As with many others I just started eating less. I lost a lot of strength. Then I found men´s health abs diet. I read 20 pages and startd immediately. I still ate too littleThen I stumbled onto BFFM. I NEVER miss a meal now. I eat extremely healthy, i hardly ever cheat. I quit smoking, drinking. I excercise every day. I don´t eat pie at work, yet i can occasionaly eat, without feeling guilty, It´s the long run that counts.I´ve found that the main reason why i have discipline, is Tom´s first chapter in his BFFM. I have a picture of a guy on my fridge, which is my example. AND WILLPOWER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT…… IT`S DREAMS THAT MAKE YOU SUCCEED!When I can do it, everybody can do it!
Jeroen – you nailed it! Imagination (dreams) will win over willpower every time.
I’m the bulldog, still needing to lose 5% of fat bulldog, but I try, i mark, I measure, I alter, I move on. I’ll get there, I know I will. Took 24 years for my body to become what it is. I figure I can handle a few years of trying to get it what I WANT it to be.
I like the concept of there are no failures only results, it takes away the feeling of guilt and that you did something wrong. When I make a mistake I say to myself, you learnt one more route you are not supposed to take. That keeps me going :)